Before
I felt slightly restless, fuzzy in my mind, well-rested and overall rather relaxed.
During
I decided to do mindfulness meditation. At first, I was in an upright lotus position, but I decided to rest my forearms on my thighs after a while. I spent some time in a separation from sensory perception as I observed my thoughts occurring. At first, I was controlling my thoughts, trying to determine what I wanted to do cognitively during the meditation. However, I eventually decided to simply let my thoughts occur with minimum conscious interference. I began to come to my senses around the end of the meditation. I was about to end the meditation and open my eyes when my timer went off, telling me that 15 minutes had passed and that it was time to stop meditating. What intrigues me is what brought me back to my senses. I was observing abstract thoughts when the image of my floor, hands and legs suddenly firmly rooted itself into my mind. I was confused for a moment: I did not remember opening my eyes, and yet here this image was before me, the same one I would have seen if my eyes had been open while in my meditative position. It was strange because I could see this clear image and yet I could still feel myself away from my senses, deep inside my meditating brain. The image was very still, calming in its concrete permanence. But then, a wave came and disintegrated the image as I realized that it did not really exist, it was only a projection of my mind. After the wave erased the image from my mind, I emerged from the depths of my mind, back into my senses. It should be noted that the wave and my emerging from my mind were not images like my floor, hands and legs were: they were feelings, a separate form of existence from the images. The state I was in was like sleep: entering the state was not a moment, but rather a process. Exiting the state, however, can be defined as a single moment. I have interpreted this image, please feel free to do the same.
After
I feel relaxed and enlightened. My breathing feels deeper and I feel like I am in greater control of my thoughts. My mind is clear, similar to how it is after a deep sleep. I'm surprised that such a short experience could have such great benefits. Additionally, let it be noted that while I am more focused and relaxed, my responsiveness is not impaired. While writing this, my house phone rang and I immediately went to pick up the phone. I actually believe that I responded faster than usual, despite my focus on writing this journal and my being in a relaxed state. It's almost as if I expected the phone to ring...
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